Sorry part 2

A genuine apology requires a few elements

1.Expressed Regret

Taking responsibility is important, but it’s also helpful for the other person to know that you feel bad about hurting them, and wish you hadn’t. That’s it. They already feel bad, and they’d like to know that you feel bad about them feeling bad.

Examples of things you might say that express regret:

I should have been more thoughtful, I wish I could go back and redo what I said/did, I should have been more considerate of your feelings

These are examples of expressions of regret that add sincerity to your apology

2. Take accountability for your actions...Not Theirs

Remember that when you apologize, you're taking responsibility for your part of the issue

It doesn't always mean that accepting blame for the entire conflict.

Giving an apology even when only a small part of the conflict was your responsibility is OK and often healthy. It allows you to establish what you regret about your own actions

Don't accept all the blame if it isn't all your fault, but give the other person time to make an apology on their own behalf without forcing it

3. Make Amends

If there’s anything you can do to amend the situation, do it. It’s important to know how to apologize with sincerity, and part of that sincerity is a willingness to act

Examples of things you might say:

I know my words hurt you. I should have never spoken that way, and I will do my best to think before I speak in the future

Is there anything I can do right now to help build trust?

Whatever you can do to make things better, do it.

If you’re not sure what would help, ask the other person

4. Apologize for the Right Reasons

While getting an apology is often nice, it's important to remember that this doesn't always happen. Apologize for your own peace of mind and the other person may be inspired to do the same.

But be sure not to apologize just because you expect an apology in return

5. Let Go of Results...to an Extent

If the apology was sincere, took accountability, expressed regret and made attempts to make amends, the chances of forgiveness are improved, but sometimes the other person just isn't ready or able to forgive and move on. Or they may forgive you, but remain guarded or have new boundaries in the relationship

Also, they may or may not realize their own role in the conflict

You can't control their response, and if you've done everything you can, its best for you to let it go for now